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Hi, I wrote a 3K word review of the new Samsung Galaxy Note 9. But you’re busy and it’s the weekend. I get it. For the sake of saving time, here’s a distilled version, narrated by the magic of the company’s deeply troubling AR Emoji version of me.

Design

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Battery

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Camera

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Audio/Visual

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Bixby

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Price

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Anyway, just read the damn review. I promise there’s only one of these creepy things in it.

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